Good Grief

I find myself so thankful for the church at a time of loss. When my mother died December 10, I was shocked and in a whirlpool of grief.

I know from experience that not dealing well with grief can be injurious to a person and a family. I have seen individuals who have suffered either physical or psychological illness because of what I perceived was unresolved and not properly processed grief. Grieving is important and it is important that it be done well.

I have always thought of the funeral service as a great vehicle for dealing with grief. In my messages at a funeral or memorial service, I stress three things: honor the loved one, say “good-bye”, and celebrate the resurrection.

1) This is the time to HONOR the person deceased. Isn’t it amazing how we honor, esteem and build on all the positives of the deceased. My mother would be shocked at all the attention she received. Why in the world can we not give each other the due honor each individual created by God deserves? I guess we’re just too busy.

2) Say “Good-bye.” A formal ceremony marking the end of our relationship in this life is necessary. I have seen what happens when there is no time to say “good-bye.” People who opt for no service–“no funeral or memorial for me”–do their families a great injustice. We the living NEED a formal rite of passage. It is not about the deceased. It is about the living.

3) For me, as a Christian, the resurrection is the basis of our hope and our joy. Because of the resurrection, every funeral and every memorial service can be a “celebration.” Without the resurrection it is just a time of sorrow.

I am thankful for the church mostly because of the support the church gives to those who grieve. I have received so many fine cards and words of support. What really matters is that so many people have remembered me and my family in prayer. Wow!

Those who lose loved ones often have trouble coming back to church right away. I can understand that. The day after my mother’s death was a Sunday but I did not go to church. For one thing, I was overwhelmed with a huge “to do” list and a numb feeling I could not shake. Fact is that I simply did not want to go to church right away. But, like the difficulty of the funeral rite, returning to the community is an important element of grieving well.

In my travels to various worship experiences this past summer, I found the memorial service to be the most significant. I suspect many others find it similarly important in their relationship with God.

Role of Prayer

I am coming to believe that a deep and passionate prayer life is essential for any worship leader: presider, preacher, lector, assisting minister, acolyte, crucifer, everyone.

I find when my spiritual roots are well watered and fed, my effectiveness in worship leadership is enhanced.

It is tempting for me to believe this is true only for clergy, but I believe prayer would enhance the worship life of any congregation in many ways–not least of which being an encounter with God. Reading the lessons, for example, is more than reading. It is a spiritual exercise (or at least it should be). Reading the prayers is deeply spiritual and takes preparation ahead of time. Being an usher is spiritual. All these gifts contribute to the body of Christ on the sacred day of worship.

There are certainly other elements in worship preparation and practice, but it seems to start with prayer.

Imagine a congregation praying every week for what happens on Sunday morning? I think we would be amazed!

Handling Announcements Differently

Last Sunday, instead of making announcements at the beginning of the service, we showed them on overhead slides.

The reason was simply to streamline our services so we can smoothly move from the 8 a.m. to the 9 a.m. service and then 10 a.m. Sunday school.

The PowerPoint overhead announcements seemed to work. There was no invasion of worship space and time; there was no disruption from the prelude to the Gathering of the service; and folks could catch what they missed by reviewing the slides at the end of the service.

I have heard no negative comments and have heard several positive. I would be interested in hearing what others think.

Newspaper Article

The article below appeared in the Huntsville Times on Friday, September 16, 2011. (Link “Huntsville Times Article” on right)

Church Hopping

As a child I was bored stiff with church. I loved the Sundays when my parents decided we weren’t going to church.

Then something happened. Christ got hold of me and I realized that, for me, there is no message in the world more important than his. But that meant dealing with this (boring) thing called the church.

In college I visited every kind of church I could on weekends. It was an eye-opener and turned me back to my Lutheran faith and worship experience. In seminary, the course on worship was, to me, the most challenging class.

When I was ordained and suddenly became responsible for this Treasure in earthen jars–this thing called worship of that which is of utmost importance–then I began to quake. Now if it was boring, I primarily had myself to blame.

At one point in my ministry, our congregation decided to introduce “contemporary” worship. I felt I needed a primer on worship in general and Lutheran worship in particular (since I hadn’t paid much attention to my worship class in seminary). So I began a twelve-week sermon series on Lutheran worship. This resulted in a little book entitled Exploring Our Lutheran Liturgy: How and Why We Worship published in 1994.

Fast forward to 2011. I was about to take my first Sabbatical. Three months of rest, prayer, Bible study, learning. My focus would be worship. Worship is something I believe we do very well at St. Mark’s and, if I could improve upon what we do best, then this Sabbatical would be a win for the kingdom of God and it would help satisfy my questions about worship.

I had several objectives:

1) Worship (Pastors who lead worship often feel they do not get to worship)
2) Seek to understand what worship is, why people worship, and what worship accomplishes.
3) Attend as many worshiping communities as possible.
4) Evaluate my worship experiences considering the questions in #2 above.
5) Read about worship from known scholars in the field.
6) Rewrite my book on worship in an attempt to be helpful to others who are passionate about seeking to connect people to the God we worship.

To help my congregation stay in touch with my activities and me stay accountable to the Sabbatical I was granted, I began a blog of my experiences. http://www.lutheranworship.wordpress.com.

I (re)discovered that the world of worship (Christian as well as non-Christian) is fascinating territory.

The results of this human impulse to worship is what archeologists find most often in their digs–whether it be the Native American burial mounds, the pyramids of Central America and Egypt, the temples of ancient Greece and Rome or the cathedrals of Europe. Human beings have a deep seated drive to connect with God. History speaks quite loudly about this human need.

I found in my visits to worshiping communities many positives but also a noticeable lack of what, I believe, is the essence of worship: connecting people to God. Some churches are quite contemporary, but lack little historical thread to what God has done in past times. Others perhaps preserve the thread, but are so dated, they do not connect to people today.

Many worshiping communities reinforced a bias those who do not worship have about institutional religion (perhaps especially “non-denominational” churches). They are anti-science, pro-right politically, antigay and patriarchal. Some reinforce my personal bias of being boring. Some struck me as personality cults. There are some worshiping communities, however, that sincerely seek to connect with the divine. I must say I especially enjoyed my visits to traditionally black congregations and small churches.

My personal takeaway is that I can do a better job in leading worship. I can be more prayerful. I can plan much better. I can work more intentionally with other worship leaders. I have rediscovered the joy and spiritual blessing of authentic worship.

Sabbath Rest

I believe Americans are a deeply fatigued people. One of my learnings on my Sabbatical is that congregations where the Sabbath rest is observed seem to be quite vibrant (despite what I would call “dismal theology”).

A United Methodist pastor who is also a medical doctor has written about fatigue and Sabbath rest. Interesting. Check it out (follow the “Keeping Sabbath” in the Blogroll link on the right).

Senator Joseph Lieberman has written a new book on observing the Sabbath. Here is part of what he says: “The Sabbath is a gift from God for all people,” he writes. “In our time, I believe, it is a gift that is desperately needed.”

The senator’s book is one of several published in recent years extolling the virtues of the Sabbath observance. Lieberman says that’s no accident: Despite — or perhaps because of — the demands of the modern world, with its relentlessly chirping electronic devices and 24/7 news cycle, people crave downtime.

“Even though in the book I am essentially escorting the reader through a traditional Sabbath according to Jewish practice, I am really writing the book not just for Jewish people but for people of all faiths or no particular faith in the hope that the book may encourage the reader to put some more Sabbath into their own lives,” he said. “I think we all need it. We’re working very hard and we tend not to make distinctions between one day and another. We never get away from our Blackberries and cellphones and iPads.”

I strongly encourage the reader to observe God’s command to “Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy.” “The Sabbath,” Jesus observes, “was given to humankind, not humankind for the Sabbath.” (Mark 2:27) It is, as the Senator says, “a gift from God.” I believe many lives could be happier, less stressful, more productive, and that the Christian church in this land would be revived, if we did as God invites us to do: “Observe the Sabbath day and keep it holy.”

Meaningful Service

Sunday afternoon I attended one of the most meaningful, deeply spiritual, and uplifting services of the summer.  It was the Memorial Service at Messiah Lutheran Church for Jeffrey Mark Graff who was brutally murdered last Tuesday.

Hilda and I came to the service early knowing there would be many people attending.  At one-half hour before the beginning of the service, the pianist was playing a meaningful medley of hymns that focused on Easter, Joy, Resurrection and Faith.

Jeffry loved music and it was reflected in the service.  The 36 voice choir sang a beautiful and vibrant anthem.  There was a flutist who played a couple of times accompanied by the pianist.  The hymns were not overdone–just two printed in the worship folder.

Pastor Scott Peterson’s message was one of the most meaningful I have ever encountered.  No flowery prose but faith-based fact: murder, sin, resurrection, redemption.  All put together beautifully and based on the Gospel of Mark’s rendition of the feeding of the multitudes.

Pastors often find funerals and memorial services to be times (unlike most weddings–and sometimes Sunday mornings) when people are most open to the Gospel of Jesus.

My spirit was lifted even though I barely knew Jeffrey Graff.

Something I took away from this service is that a Memorial service on the Day of Resurrection (Sunday) is a poignant and meaningful, as well as helpful day for such a service.  I want to encourage more Memorial services on Sundays.  It is hard on the preacher–most especially if he/she had to preach in the morning–and it is challenging for musicians, but what a gift to give in honor and memory of the deceased (to say nothing of the gift of the Gospel to the hurting world infected by the drought of human sin and in need of divinely refreshing waters of hope).

I want to put the world on notice, this is the kind of service I would want for myself.  (And I suspect you would too).

Sunday, August 21 (Part Two) Plains, GA

My Sabbatical is soon coming to an end and I think this is the last blog of my church visits.  So I thought it appropriate that I end with an Evangelical Lutheran Church in America visit.  This little church is in Plains, GA.  As “Part One” outlines, we went to Sunday school at Maranatha Baptist in Plains.  Before you get to Marantha, you pass St. Andrew’s Lutheran.

The church is beautiful–a jewel box.  But, alas, it has seen better days.  There were only fifteen of us in worship.  Our attendance boosted attendance by nearly 15%!

Everyone in the church greeted us warmly.  This level is friendliness is common in small parishes and points to why a church should never close if at all possible.  

The service was straight from the LUTHERAN BOOK OF WORSHIP and conducted by a lay person–a woman from a nearby town.  She did a good job.  Her sermon was quite excellent.  I would give it a 4 (of 5) stars (although I would give her delivery a 2–she read it).

It felt good to be back in an ELCA parish.  Back in July I had preached at my Mom’s parish in Kansas, but being a participant is not the same as being a guest. 

Sunday, August 21 (Part One) Plains, GA

I had heard that former President Jimmy Carter taught Sunday school at his church in Plains, GA so I made sure we were in Plains on Sunday morning.  I knew he would not be teaching, but I wanted to get a feel for the kind of Sunday school class the adults have at Maranatha Baptist Church.

It strikes me that Lutherans make many excuses for not attending/teaching Sunday school.  That is why Jimmy Carter is my inspiration.  He taught his Sunday school class while he was president!

So the class, normally held in the Sanctuary to a full crowd, when Jimmy is teaching, was instead held in a small Sunday school room with only about twenty chairs set up.

The teacher, a very interesting man from Afghanistan, joked that he has been teaching this class for twenty years and that Jimmy is his substitute.  He did a fine job.

At the beginning of class, he asked Hilda and me to introduce ourselves.  So I got up, turned around–and there–in the seat behind me was Rosalynn Carter.  In this class of only 15, she was an active participant.  She is 83 (August 18).

She was so gracious–introducing herself to us!  I told her why we wanted to be present.  She told me Jimmy has been teaching Sunday school since his Annapolis days (1943).  Incidentally, he is also a deacon and works with maintenance around the church and has built some furniture for the congregation.  He could not be present this morning because he had knee surgery.

Sunday, August 14 (Part Two)

I wanted to worship at Southside Baptist Church since they are our closest neighbors to St. Mark’s.  They have one 10 a.m. service and the place was filled with perhaps 500 people.  I was overdressed in my suit and did feel a little self-conscious.

As I pulled up I was impressed that “Guest Parking” was clearly delineated.  There were signs up pointing the way to the “Worship Center” and greeters outside and at the door.  Makes the visitor feel really welcomed.

All hymns and praise songs (both were sung) were on the overhead screens.  No need for hymnal.  Nice, attractive bulletin with the pastor’s message outlined.  The contemporary band did a great job of not overpowering the congregation so that people wanted to sing along and could actually hear themselves.

They had six baptisms today.  When two youth were baptized, the entire youth group of 50 to 60 all stood out of respect.  That was impressive.

The offering began the sermon (I’ve never seen that before).  The sermon was entitled, “Be Connected” and was all about getting connected in worship and in small groups and, oh, by the way–also getting connected to Christ.  There was a nice invitation to connection to Christ at the end of the service that was well done.

The sermon was 52 minutes long!  (Do Baptists have a 52 minute sermon they shoot for–I sat through a 52 minute sermon at the Baptist Church I attended last Sunday as well).

I am amazed at how Baptist or Baptist-like so many churches in the Huntsville area are.  I guess the distinctively difference of Lutheranism is one real motivator for me when I return to St. Mark’s.  (Speaking of which, I so miss St. Mark’s that I stopped by in the middle of the last service just to look in.  I am anxious to get back to my beloved congregation!)

 

Sunday, August 14 (Part One)

Today I visited the Winchester Ward of the Latter Day Saints (Mormon) on Byrd Springs.  The Mormon church is unique not only in their beliefs, but also in their total lay leadership (no professional clergy); the two year foreign mission trips of their young people; and their hierarchical structure.  Everything is top-down (instead of bottom-up as in the ELCA).  Even the web site is out of Salt Lake City!

The congregations are called “wards” (or branches).  Huntsville now has 15 wards.  A ward is not allowed grow more than an average of 250 weekly attendance.  Members are assigned to their wards (usually by geographical locale).  The various wards meet in the same buildings at different times of the day.

When I arrived at the Byrd Springs building (called “chapel”), the main entrance was unclear.  I ended up trying to get in a locked door.  Once I found the right door, I was personally welcomed by many, including the bishop.

The building seats around 250 and probably 180 were in attendance.  There were all kinds of people present–black, Hispanic, young and middle-aged (not many old).  There was no bulletin.  The prelude consisted of traditional hymns played by a non-professional (probably not paid) musician.

Announcements were made and a hymn was sung.  There was a prayer and then some ward business followed by another hymn by Isaac Watts, then the Sacrament of Communion distributed by those in the priesthood.  Worthy male members, after reaching age 12, may be ordained to the priesthood. Women do not hold positions within the priesthood but serve in an array of other leadership roles. Both men and women may serve as missionaries, and the church maintains a large missionary program which proselytizes and conducts humanitarian services. Faithful members adhere to laws regarding sexual purity, health, fasting, and Sabbath observance, and contribute 10 percent of their income to the church as a tithe.

Two speakers each spoke about 20 minutes on the Church Welfare System which is celebrating its 75th. anniversary this year.  Communion was served and a total of four hymns sung.  There were brief quotes from the Bible and the Book of Mormon (all in King James English).

No offering was taken.

Today’s service had the feel of a business meeting.  I did not find it spiritual in the least.  The one message said it well: “Do your part…. Tithe…. The Lord will bless you….”  It is clear that making the Sunday service “seeker friendly” is not the source of the dynamic LDS growth worldwide.